Toronto still exists in my mind as a place of happy moments.
I remember sitting in the living room of the small apartment on Seaton street, watching autumn leaves glow in the dust of tender sun. A warm colour palette. That's when I realized I want an apartment to myself so I can watch the world go by without being part of it. A need for isolation. Something I never thought I'd need.
I also remember relaxing in an armchair with a cat on my lap - an image I never thought would appeal to me. But there I was, peaceful and relaxed, taking a break from my real life. I could convince myself that I wanted a life like that more, even though I was only borrowing a few moment of someone else's life. I imagined it in my head, that this could be my world.
So now when I think of Toronto, I still feel that warmth, peace, and contentment that was never reliable.
The city holds a lot of disappointment for me. It could be a great city. Rapid train lines connecting a vast area of many boroughs. Great public space that highlights cultural diversity in Canada's biggest metropolitan. Pioneer of sustainable urban design that combines complete streets with climate change research facilities and testing hubs. Centre of North America for ambitious and bold moves towards active transportation modes.
But it remains grey, unpretending, rugged and modest.
At my job, I learn that to make change, we need time, and compromises, and strategic moves. To change people, and cities, and make every part work together is a big job for people who have the right charisma, timing and smart moves. Some cities are luckier than others to have the right people at the right time. Others don't.
Too often, a place could just feel like disappointment. A fleeting feeling of perfectness.
I remember sitting in the living room of the small apartment on Seaton street, watching autumn leaves glow in the dust of tender sun. A warm colour palette. That's when I realized I want an apartment to myself so I can watch the world go by without being part of it. A need for isolation. Something I never thought I'd need.
I also remember relaxing in an armchair with a cat on my lap - an image I never thought would appeal to me. But there I was, peaceful and relaxed, taking a break from my real life. I could convince myself that I wanted a life like that more, even though I was only borrowing a few moment of someone else's life. I imagined it in my head, that this could be my world.
So now when I think of Toronto, I still feel that warmth, peace, and contentment that was never reliable.
The city holds a lot of disappointment for me. It could be a great city. Rapid train lines connecting a vast area of many boroughs. Great public space that highlights cultural diversity in Canada's biggest metropolitan. Pioneer of sustainable urban design that combines complete streets with climate change research facilities and testing hubs. Centre of North America for ambitious and bold moves towards active transportation modes.
But it remains grey, unpretending, rugged and modest.
At my job, I learn that to make change, we need time, and compromises, and strategic moves. To change people, and cities, and make every part work together is a big job for people who have the right charisma, timing and smart moves. Some cities are luckier than others to have the right people at the right time. Others don't.
Too often, a place could just feel like disappointment. A fleeting feeling of perfectness.
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