Virginia Woolf's classic feminist text has been such a great motivation for women in the past century. I am so glad that I live in a time that benefits directly from the struggles of previous generations of women's rights activists. I get to freely read works by so many female writers since then who have been given their own room to produce work. Some of my recent favourites are by Patricia Collin Hills, Jean Rhys, Elena Ferrante, Madeleine Thien, Souvankham Thammavongsa etc. to name a few.
I can also vote, rent an apartment in my own name without needing a husband, earn my own money, have my own bank account, travel by myself freely whether it's walking, biking, taking the bus or plane or driving unsupervised, have multiple blogs, buy my own jewelry, be single without criticism etc. There's still so much that oppresses women in our society, but I feel much freer than those in Little Women or Middlemarch.
For me in the last year or so, the most liberating experience has actually been the ability to cook whatever I want, whenever I want. Growing up, I witnessed the women in my family and extended family take on the majority of domestic chores - cooking being one of the most time consuming ones. Some Vietnamese food takes such a long time to make. Phở broth needs to be stewed for hours. Nộm needs to be cut in thin, long strips and requires so much meticulous chopping. Nem has to be individually wrapped and then fried to perfection, which I never had the patience for. So for me, cooking had been just another word for "spending hours in the kitchen making food for others to eat".
But ever since I embraced home cooking in my own kitchen, I found out that I could literally do whatever I wanted. If I forgot an ingredient, no one would complain. If I accidentally burnt some rice, no one would notice. I didn't have to stick to any authentic recipes. I didn't bother learning the difference between linguine and spaghettini, and no chef would be around to judge me. I could throw in a chaotic mix of different herbs and spices onto pork chops, and overcook it, and no one would scold me. This gave me such an immense freedom to experiment, make mistakes, and create my own world in my kitchen.
For the past year I started subscribing to meal prep plans. The service is clearly marketed towards young professionals like me who are too lazy to find and make our own recipes, but wouldn't mind trying out new food for a cheaper price tag than restaurant meals. Through it, I learnt how to incorporate so many different types of food. Instead of always eating rice, I learnt how to cook couscous, orzo, freekeh. For vegetarian substitutions, I learnt to make chickpeas, lentils, yellow split peas and edameme. I didn't care if I used too much butter, or not enough salt, or burnt the ciabatta bun. The kitchen became my safe space to be myself, with all my flaws and the things I have yet to learn.
This ability to cook in a kitchen but free from Confucianist values and familial expectations is unfamiliar to me. I still have this fear that someone may find my food too "offensive", like, "why would you use mozzarella cheese instead of cheddar?" Perhaps it would be offensive if I invited someone over for dinner who was an expert in cheese. But no, this act of cooking is perfectly for myself.
Recently I watched a Japanese show called "What did you eat yesterday?" The kitchen space is a place for Shiro to relax after a day of work, and he reflects on how calming it is to cook for oneself and get to enjoy the fruits of one's labour right after. Seeing the male character take on the role of the daily cook is new to me! Men usually get to become celebrity chefs or restaurant owners, but it's so nice to see a man cook for his small family. The show inspired me to revamp my chicken soup, and be more present when I am in the kitchen.
I hope that women will continue to achieve worldly accomplishments and prove our importance. But I also hope that women will find new meanings in traditionally female chores. I want to do things on my own terms, and leave behind values that don't serve me. In this newfound joy, I am freed from judgement, obligations, and I can choose what I do each day.
Comments
Post a Comment