Amy Do Nguyet Anh

Virginia Woolf's classic feminist text has been such a great motivation for women in the past century. I am so glad that I live in a time that benefits directly from the struggles of previous generations of women's rights activists. I get to freely read works by so many female writers since then who have been given their own room to produce work. Some of my recent favourites are by Patricia Collin Hills, Jean Rhys, Elena Ferrante, Madeleine Thien, Souvankham Thammavongsa etc. to name a few. I can also vote, rent an apartment in my own name without needing a husband, earn my own money, have my own bank account, travel by myself freely whether it's walking, biking, taking the bus or plane or driving unsupervised, have multiple blogs, buy my own jewelry, be single without criticism etc. There's still so much that oppresses women in our society, but I feel much freer than those in Little Women or Middlemarch.  For me in the last year or so, the most liberating experience ha...

In the past year or so, I've tried out few different methods to organize my living space. It started when I moved into an apartment near Marine Dr Station. It was my first time living on my own, and the first time I had an unfurnished place. I started with very little decorations and furniture because I don't know how long I would be renting this place for, and therefore I want to be able to move my stuff as easily as possible. I also didn't have a lot of money to spend on home purchases. Not only that, I have never been taught how to do DIY projects properly, plus I am too lazy to learn and put effort into decorating my place. So what started out as living on a budget and being lazy turned into this whole "minimalist' concept that apparently is pretty popular now. I am hopping on the bandwagon, but honestly it's only because I don't have a lot of disposable income (all my money goes to rent, lessons, travelling , food ...). And then my friend lent me ...

Toronto still exists in my mind as a place of happy moments. I remember sitting in the living room of the small apartment on Seaton street, watching autumn leaves glow in the dust of tender sun. A warm colour palette. That's when I realized I want an apartment to myself so I can watch the world go by without being part of it. A need for isolation. Something I never thought I'd need. I also remember relaxing in an armchair with a cat on my lap - an image I never thought would appeal to me. But there I was, peaceful and relaxed, taking a break from my real life. I could convince myself that I wanted a life like that more, even though I was only borrowing a few moment of someone else's life. I imagined it in my head, that this could be my world. So now when I think of Toronto, I still feel that warmth, peace, and contentment that was never reliable. The city holds a lot of disappointment for me. It could be a great city. Rapid train lines connecting a vast area of many...

It's 11:40 pm and I was in bed, warm and soft, when suddenly a vivid image crossed my mind. It was a late summer night on the 20 bus and I was sitting in the back on one of the seats facing sideways. Why was it the 20? Where was I going up and down Victoria Drive? It must have been when we still lived on Perry Street and Sergio still lived on 35th, which would be the only reasons I would be on the 20. Across from me were a couple in their 20s probably. Something about their embrace exuded such warmth and intimacy that I just sat there in awe, envious of their love. I had wished that I would also find a love like such, or like what I imagined their love to be at that time. That short encounter gave me no facts, only my own imagination of what love looks like and feels like. Two relationships after, I think I've made peace with love for now. I don't hate love. Love doesn't suck. It doesn't ruin my life. It is a strong feeling that takes me out of control, but also ...

It's New Year's.. only 10 or so more days until I meet him again. I know his brilliant smile will hang across his face and we will be in shopping malls for hours, hands heavy with happiness. Ten days until we get to eat what we want and talk about what we want. Partying into the night and shopping away the days. It's almost Tet, only 3 more days until I see them again. The friends that I have known since I didn't even know myself. How are they now? After many seasons of love, life and career? I can't wait to feel like I'm 15 again, but more freedom, more hope. Nostalgia keeps me strong. It's May.. only a few more days until my last day at my job, and 5 more days until I see her again. It's been 7 years. Too long to believe, yet too short to feel. How does she look like now, away from the Singaporean sun? How does she look now, the weight of philosophy on her shoulders? Her cheeks rosy with the touch of love. We both have changed so much, but also so ...

One night years ago during final season, we waited in the rain for the 25 bus to come. It was past midnight, and the cold April rain gripped my hands and face. He patiently kept me awake with conversations that I don't even remember - video games, politics. The rain kept pouring on us, but he didn't leave my side. When it was finally obvious that the 25 was not coming anymore, and I had missed my last bus back to dorm, I pleaded with him to let me stay the night. And back we trekked through the cold and wet to his place. I had no dry clothes. He was sleepy. We got to sleep as fast as we could. I don't remember much else. But the wait, for something that eventually did not come, I still remember. I was disappointed, but I knew I had someone beside me. I knew I had somewhere to go. A direction. Here I am years later, waiting again. My life had shifted this year. Things started to become bad. Bad in a complicated way. Not in the way a 9th-grader would mean. And I'm lo...

I woke up one morning the cold besieges me I grasp for warmth and you're not there. My dreams are disconnected invaded with thoughts of you still here holding me. What does it take to knit the fabrics of time and hold on. What do I do, with reality and hope How do I reconcile, the could've and the is.